Day 276 - This is Good!

Thursday Inspiration!

For today’s entry, I wanted us to examine for a moment the things that happen to us in our life – and the way that even a negative experience can be used to benefit us . . .

I received this story in my inbox last week, and I thought that it was very applicable to what our theme was going to be for this week:

This is Good...

The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off. And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad of me to do this."

"No" his friend replied, "This is good!"

"What do you mean, "This is good?" How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you when you were captured."

*** Situations may not always seem pleasant while we are in them, but the promise of God is clear. If we love Him and live our lives according to His precepts, even that which seems to be bleak and hopeless will be turned by God for His glory and our benefit.

After reading that story, I felt particularly impressed to examine the last 14 months of Al being gone and the “GOOD” things that have come out of it:

• We were close before, but with him being gone – and us having to communicate so much by phone, email, letters, packages, etc. – it has really added a new dimension to our relationship. Our communication skills have really been put to the test – and I know that we will benefit in the long run from that.
• I have personally become a much stronger person. I only ‘thought’ I was strong before Al got deployed, but this situation has forced me to dig down deep inside of myself and find an inner resolve that I didn’t even know existed.
• I have really learned fully what love is about. When you can love someone across thousands of miles and without seeing them ‘in person’ for months and months at a time – and that love doesn’t diminish – but only gets deeper and deeper, you know that you have found the ‘real thing’.
• I have shipped enough packages and done enough overseas mailing, that if I ever find myself out of work, I could immediately obtain employment at the nearest post office or shipping supplier. LOL.
• I have been able to learn so many things about Al that I might not have been able to discover in ‘normal’ life --- even though he hasn’t been on the front lines, kicking down doors in Iraq – his sacrifice for his country and the citizens of Iraq has been pretty amazing to me. It’s pretty awesome to be able to think of your husband and use the words honor, sacrifice and hero when you do.
• No matter how much this deployment has sucked – we will always be able to look back on it and say ‘Oh, that was our first deployment’ – and ‘That was the deployment that we got married on’. The two weeks that he got to come home in August were so wonderful, and getting to become “Mrs. Big Al” will always be a special memory that I will treasure.
• I know that this situation has brought me closer to God. God and I got along pretty well before this, but I have really come to understand what trust and faith is all about because of this situation. I have no choice but to trust God during this time – and have faith that He is holding Al in the palm of His hand. That has been an amazing lesson!
• Finally, no matter how hard deployment is – I have one word for you . . . HOMECOMING!! I can’t explain the anticipation and excitement I had when I went to pick Al up at the airport when he came home on R&R. Regular people don’t get to feel those emotions, the heart pounding, and the nervousness – all just to see the person that you love most in the world. If you get to see your loved one every night – day in, day out – you don’t get the roller coaster thrill of seeing them for the first time in six months. I look forward so much to Al’s final homecoming too.

So, I just encourage you that, as you go throughout this next week that you would try to find the ‘good things’ that have happened as a result of the ‘bad things’ in your life. Everything happens for a reason, and there is a plan and a purpose to EVERYTHING under Heaven!!

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Day 273 - I am the most boring person alive.

Seriously. This stuff has to stop. I have to stop spending my weekends organizing my sock drawer. You guys don't even know - I think that I have easily become the most lame person on the planet - second only to maybe Bert of Bert & Ernie fame - and his bottlecap collection - except he's a puppet and not even a real person - so I win. I am officially the most boring person on Earth.

In honor of this marvelous achievement, I will tell you the exciting projects that I completed this past weekend:

• Re-organized my shoes. I took my spring/summer shoes and put them in a rubbermaid tote and stuffed them in the back of my closet. Then I took my fall/winter shoes and neatly made them into pairs and lined them all up in my other closet.
• Went through all of my clothes and got rid of anything that I haven't worn in at least six months. Made a big giveaway pile. Bagged up said giveaway pile into a trash bag to haul to said giveaway place.
• Went through all of Em's old fall/winter clothes and figured out what she could still wear this year. Took any clothes that she couldn't wear and matched them up in outfits to take to the consignment store. Folded up all of her spring/summer clothes and put them in a rubbermaid tote on the top of her closet.
• Took all of Al's and my CD's and took them out of their plastic cases - and neatly organized them into CD-ROM binders. This took forever as we have a lot more CD's, etc. than I realized.

I mean, WOW! It doesn't get much more exciting than that, does it? I did go shopping on Saturday and get some new fall clothes though because my stuff from last year was too big (yay!) - so that was nice. I had fun hanging my new stuff up in the closet. Looking over my 'project' list, and realizing that my life is about as interesting as a jar of white paste is pretty scary. I have huge problems with military wives who go out partying and drinking while their hubbies are deployed - but now I'm wondering . . . hmmmm. JUST KIDDING!

I also have a little news on Al - it looks like his "BOG" (Boots on Ground) time is going to be extended because of his new position. We are trying to suck it up - but it's going to be much closer to five months, rather than four months before he is home. He is busy looking over equipment and running around doing stuff every day - but he always makes the effort to call and email as much as possible - so that's nice. He has started slowly shipping stuff home too - so I know the end is in sight, I guess, maybe - lol.

I am attaching a new picture of our doughnut/donut of misery, just so you can see our progress. Please note, that for OPSEC reasons, the dates on the donut have been slightly adjusted and are not completely accurate. I always do a new one each Monday morning, and I plug in the date of the following Monday. When I plugged in today's date, it popped up with a new saying, "Congratulations! You're over the hump!". Bleerrggh. I unfortunately feel that the hump has just begun. On one hand, you want to say, 'OMG! We've got NINE MONTHS done baby! NINE MONTHS!' But then, on the other hand, you want to say, '****INSERT EXPLETIVE HERE**** I can't believe that we've got five more months of this ****INSERT EXPLETIVE HERE**** stuff left!'.

Well, I would write more, but I believe my silverware drawer is calling me. I think I will sort the big forks from the small forks. That should kill a good 15 minutes, lol!

Day 269 - Thursday Inspiration!

Hey everybody! Well, I decided to be uplifting today - I have been very contemplative lately - so I decided that since Al has several months of deployment left, that I would start something new for Thursdays. I thought that everyone needed more encouragement in their life - so I will do my part!! LOL. Hope everyone is having a good week. Al's job in the sand has been changed and moved around and jumbled a bunch, but we are trying to focus on the positives and trust in God.

LEGACY OF LOVE, 9.29.05

“Do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back, but so they will kiss their children.”

Noah Benshea

After Al left to go back to the sand in August, I decided that I really wanted to focus on getting some more plans and goals accomplished. When he had originally left in January, I made a big list of things that I wanted to get done, and although some of those things were pretty easily accomplished, there were a few things that were a lot more time consuming and challenging to do. I realized last month that I needed some organization in my life – and I decided to get a “planner”. I even went to the Franklin Covey planner store to get it. It’s red, and it’s pretty, and it has helped me get my life in order soooo much.

The thing is, though, that it hasn’t just helped me organize stuff like dentist appointments and finances, it has really helped me see the ‘big picture’ of my life. There is a section in there called “Values and Mission” that really helps a person sit down and think about what is most important to them, and assists in figuring out not just what you want to “do” in life, but also who you want to “be”. To accomplish that, you do a ton of exercises to try and figure out who you are as a person, and what’s most important to you. In doing the exercises, I came to a very important realization that what mattered most to me was God, Al, my children and my friends and family.

One of the exercises that brought me to that realization was one where you had to imagine that you were at your 80th birthday party, and you were supposed to think about what you wanted the people that were there to say about you and what you wanted that event to be like. As I considered that event in my mind’s eye, I thought about Al being there and him saying what a good life partner I had been to him, that we were best friends, and that our love was just as strong 50 years later as the day that we first met. I then thought about my children being there (and my grandchildren too) and them being able to say that I had always been loving and caring – and that every day I challenged them to be better people. I imagined my friends (like you) being there, and us being able to look one another in the eye and smile at the joyous ride that we had gone on together – that our smiles might be laced with tears at the remembrance of good times and bad that we had encouraged one another through. I thought about people from my church celebrating the event with me, and them being able to say what an uplifting person I had been to them, and that I had modeled Christ in their lives.

In short, as I thought about that future day, I didn’t for one minute think about the clothes that I would be wearing, how many wrinkles would be on my face, or whether or not my fingers would be dripping with jewels. Instead, I thought about those closest to me, and how I wanted them to be able to say that knowing me and being loved by me had made a difference in their lives. So, as you go throughout your day today, please do not let the small things in life bother you – don’t let the petty irritations wear you down. When you feel yourself get discouraged today, take a small mental break and think about your 80th birthday. Look around that room in your mind and see all those faces smiling back at you, think about what really matters in your life. As you do, I’m sure that you won’t be thinking about cars, houses, money or jobs – instead you will think about your family and the legacy of love that you will leave behind on this earth. Let us live each day with that in mind! Be blessed.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS.”

1 Cor. 13:4-8

Day 264 - Breaking Down the Wall

It's hard to type what I need to type to y'all today. It's hard to admit to a large group of people that your life has basically sucked for the last month. It's even harder to admit that you know that you have been a complete and total "B-Word" for that month. Even if you know me "in real life" (ie. outside of the computer) - this admission may be a complete surprise to you - because other than lying low for a month and not calling anybody and not wanting to talk to people when they called me, there really haven't been a lot of signs that I have been in a horribly, godawful bad mood and that I could have easily cleaned somebody's clock for looking at me the wrong way (of course, after I had a dental work done this week, and a $1000 crown put on, my bad mood was maybe a little bit easier to recognize).

Al would probably be the most shocked to hear that I have been in a horrible mood - that's because I'm not EVER in a horrible mood to him. Heck, the reason that I feel this way is because I miss him so much and I am just "done" with having him gone. It would be pretty stupid to take that out on him!! LOL. In a lot of ways, I feel that with me being the one 'back home', that it is important for me to set the tone for our relationship. You can call it being a 'Stepford Wife' - but I have learned the hard way that a little tiny thing over the phone and the computer can be multiplied several times over several days and blow up into something absolutely stupid. It is so much easier to just be happy and loving when I do get the opportunity to talk to him.

Anyway, all of these feelings of negativity had basically culminated to the point that I have been getting NO joy out of anything. I took myself to a movie last week and while it got me out of the house for two hours and I was able to enjoy the entertainment while it lasted, the SECOND that I walked out of the movie theater, I was grumpy again. The only way that I can explain it is that it was like that show, "Night of the Living Dead", where if you get bitten by a Zombie, you become this angry, mad, "non-person" who only wants to run around and bite everyone else and make them into a Zombie too. Looking at happy people actually made me mad! Like, "How DARE they be happy when I feel this way?".

This last week, I can tell you that the dread and negative feelings inside of me had built to a point that it was hard to even take a deep breath. Like I had so much "yuck" in me - that I couldn't even breathe. I am not "depressed" - I am so fricking over being 'sad', it's not even funny. I'm ticked off! I'm tired and I don't want to do this anymore - but, guess what? I don't get any options! There are still two more elections in Iraq this year, and my soldier won't be going anywhere until they are over with. And no matter how much I support him, and support his mission, and believe in America and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH - it isn't going to bring him home any sooner!

Last night, lying in bed, I realized that I had a big, huge ball of anger in me. And as I was falling asleep, I just prayed and said, "God, I am so tired of feeling this way, please make it stop". This morning, I woke up and pulled myself out of bed, grumpiness overcoming me every step of the way, and I hauled myself to a women's conference that we were having at my church. And for eight hours, God talked directly to my heart and told me what I needed to hear to get through the rest of this deployment.

I know that not everyone is spiritual, and I know that a lot of people think that God is a crutch for weak minded people. That's fine. I will be the first person to say that I am weak and the next thing that I will tell you is that I don't care if you are an emotional Arnold Schwarzenegger, deployment can kick your butt. However, I feel about 300% better tonight about everything than I did this morning - and I know that I am supposed to tell you about it in our blog.

This is what I feel impressed to tell you if you are going through this situation:

Dealing with a deployment is like running the longest race that you have ever run in your life. You start off, and you are just so happy to finally be leaving the starting gate after months of potential deployment hanging over your head that you are jogging along and although it sucks and you hate it - you think to yourself, 'Hey! I can do this!'. I was running like a champ just like that in February when I had to have surgery and then I got sick. Then I basically tripped emotionally, fell, and then I landed SPLAT on my face. It took me several weeks before I could pull myself back up from that. I even went to the doctor because I couldn't stop crying. YUCK.

Well, after that, I got my crap together and I was just plodding along. Saying to myself 'jog, jog, jog' - doing the whole 'put one foot in front of the other', 'keep on swimming' thing. I did pretty good up until June. In June, I got to the start of a gigantic hill. I looked up at that hill and realized that we still had two full months of deployment until Al could come home on R&R and we could get married. That was another awful couple of weeks. I had no choice but to keep running up that hill, some days just dragging my butt on the asphalt and getting only a few feet, but I somehow managed to keep on going.

Finally August got here, and life was great. I was jogging along, Al came home, things were awesome! I was running and waving for the cameras, thinking, "Geez, I have this deployment stuff LICKED! I am the POSTER CHILD of doing stuff right! Just a few more months and we will be all done!". Ha, ha, ha.

Al leaves and then I turn into a undercover basketcase. I become a closet "mind murderer" who wishes death upon anyone who crosses my path. I swear I could have won the lottery this month and I would have found a way to be angry about it. Well, I hate to use another running analogy on you -- but God showed me today that I have hit the proverbial runner's wall. You know, the moment that everything becomes mental for the runner. They can make it through the rest of the race 'physically', and they honestly don't even have that much of the race left, but MENTALLY they begin to freak out, and they doubt themselves.

That is where I have been. At the wall. And the wall sucks - it hurts - and it's a very painful place to be. It's also so humbling to realize that we have made it through eight months of boots on ground time - and well over a year of total deployment - and I am at the point of being jello inside all over again. I was somehow able to give all of that over to God today. I'm not sure how, and I am pretty positive that a lot of it had nothing to do with anything that I did, but rather God working in my heart. All that I know is that I am okay now.

No matter what you are dealing with right now - no matter WHAT the problem is that you are facing . . . perhaps it's something personal, something private - something that like me, you don't want to talk about with anyone - whatever it is, you CAN make it through it. I learned today that the wall can be beneficial because it makes a person realize that they aren't a super hero - that they are just as vulnerable as anybody else. And when you are vulnerable, you are at the point that you can achieve the most personal growth. When everything is going great, and everything is awesome, you're not going to be as able to recognize the big, important, 'deep' stuff in life. At the wall, you have no choice but to face your fears and DEAL.

If you are running along and never have problems, you have no milestones that you can look back on when you finally do make it to the finish line. You have no way of measuring your run other than the start and the finish, and there is a lot more to life than the beginning and the end.

I never realized that after going through this month, that I would actually be able to say that I'm thankful for feeling the way that I have. It's such a huge relief that it's over, and such a good feeling to be done with it - but I'm also so thankful for the lessons that it taught me. I'm not sure if all of my wall got broken down today, but I do know that I feel like I can finish this race again and that my confidence is back. I am running like a spaz, and the theme for "Chariots of Fire" is playing in the background. I am running toward this winter, and I am running toward Al - and I can see the finish line in the distance. Thanks to all of you for running the race with me!!

Day 261 - Top 10 Stuff

Well, another week is gone. I haven’t been down in the dumps but I haven’t been exactly jumping for joy either – my rhythm is messed up. With Al back in the sand – and another four to five months of this crap – just existing is becoming a way of life. There is another hurricane coming – this time for Texas though. My good friend from California is in TX right now doing hurricane relief work, so my mind and thoughts are on her right now.

In honor of Hurricane Rita, I drafted this “Top 10” list for anybody who is on the outskirts of a hurricane (I wrote it after Katrina – but didn’t think I would get to share my wisdom this soon – could there BE anymore hurricanes/tropical storms this year? Yikes!):

TOP 10 WAYS TO KNOW THAT YOU SURVIVED THE OUTSKIRTS OF A HURRICANE:

1. Cars cease to be the status symbols that they once were – the only thing that makes a ‘sexy’car is how full its gas tank is.


2. Speaking of sexy, nothing makes a man look better than when he is carrying a generator towards your front door.


3. You feel guilty because somehow you didn’t lose your phone or your power in ‘the big storm’, but your guilt is quickly erased the next day when your power and phone have to be shut off to fix your neighbor’s lines.


4. ‘Modern Conveniences’ becomes a relative term for those dealing with several days of power loss. Being lucky enough to have a roof over your head and a soft bed to sleep in sounds really good compared to the alternatives that you hear about on your battery powered radio.


5. Horses start to look like a pretty efficient form of transportation after two hours spent in a fuel line to get less than 10 gallons of gas.


6. Your coworkers begin to seem a lot less annoying to you after you realize how much money you can save by carpooling with them.


7. You look forward to going to the office every day because you still have power and air conditioning there. As you lie awake in sticky, hot, “half-sleep”, you can’t wait to ‘push papers’ in the morning.


8. You begin to wish that the looters that you’re seeing on TV would steal Geraldo Rivera too so that you wouldn’t have to listen to his histrionics anymore.


9. You start to really regret not putting a chain saw on your wedding registry.


10. Instead of counting down how many days your hubby has left of his deployment to Iraq, you start counting down how many days are left in hurricane season.

Day 253 - A Long Two Weeks.

First, let me say that I am very sorry for taking such a long break from the blog. It wasn't intentional -- after the Hurricane and all the stuff that went along with it, I just didn't feel like I had anything important to say in light of "real life" events going on. I was so glued to the news - and trying to help out locally and just being freakishly introspective - so, I apologize for my absence. I hope that it won't happen again.

I knew that I would go into a somewhat downward spiral after Al left - being left behind in Alabama to pick up the pieces of my life, to try to create a semblance of order of things and figure out how I was going to make it through the next several months without him home. And as soon as he got back to the Sand, he was given a position that makes it so he will be one of the very last people home from his company when everyone redeploys - and I took all of that pretty hard.

Then the hurricane hit, and life just sucked - I am an extremely empathetic person, plus I live pretty close to everything. I volunteer with the Red Cross whenever I can (which hasn't been for a while, since I have been busy being a mom), but I was able to have the opportunity to help evacuees who had lost absolutely everything - who dealt with the atrocities not just in New Orleans, but all over the Gulf Coast. Being in the middle of all of that, is just really something that you can't describe. You would have to see their weariness first hand, their overwhelming thankfulness to be alive, and hear the hope that is deep inside of them - waiting for the opportunity to be fully rebuilt.

I will say that one of the hardest things that I have ever done was to work two Sundays ago with the kids who had evacuated to the BJCC in Birmingham. I guess I didn't realize that I would be directly around people who had been in New Orleans - at the Civic Center, and at the Superdome. The day before, (Saturday the 3rd), I worked as a 'team leader' in the donations warehouse moving items that people dropped off for the evacuees out to a huge floor of everything imaginable. We were isolated from the clients other than when other volunteers would come back to "shop" in the warehouse for items needed out front - it was hard, hot work - but very rewarding to know that the items would be able to be put to almost immediate use by people who desperately needed and deserved them.

The next day though, the warehouse was pretty full, so the local Red Cross told people that they would accept no more "in kind" donations, and instead, started asking for financial ones - ie. I was out of a job. I got put to work playing with the kids that didn't go to church that morning - a group of about 10-15 boys and girls of all ages. One girl, whose name I was never told, will always stick in my mind. She was 13, with high cheekbones, pale chocolate skin and gorgeous gray eyes. She had an authentic "New Orleans accent" - and she had evacuated from the Civic Center. The things that she told me that people had experienced there were just horrifying (people getting raped and beaten, babies getting trampled, no food, no water for three days). And I listened as best as I could, and looked away when I thought that I couldn't swallow my tears anymore. It was hard enough to hear that stuff on the news, but to be confronted with it first hand was next to impossible to accept.

We have roughly 10,000 evacuees in Birmingham - and we are one smallish Southern metropolis. I hope to be able to volunteer this weekend again when Em is at her dad's house. I don't know where I will end up this time - or what I will be doing - but I feel compelled to do something, anything, to help the local, hurting sea of humanity that has ended up on the doorstep of my fair city. I miss Al immensely, but he has been my rock during this time. I email him every night - and he is just as good about communicating back with me. No matter what I need to talk about, he is there for me - and I love him for that. The days have melted together and the importance of our countdown seems foolish in light of what so many others are facing right now.

All of this has been especially hard on the soldiers who are deployed from Mississippi and Louisiana. The main LA unit has gotten to come home - and about 80 guys who either completely lost their houses (or family members) should be home on leave right now from the 155 BCT. There are lots more who are left in Iraq though struggling with the urge to be on home soil making a difference - and helping their families pick up the brokenness of their lives and move forward - only the ones that lost absolutely everything were allowed to return. I know how hard it is for me to be without Al in the good times and bad, but I can't imagine having a good portion of your house gone and struggling along alone. My prayers go out to all of the soldiers and their families. The military community stands behind you.

I thought that I would share some pictures of the last two weeks:

My company let us leave at 1600 on the Monday of the hurricane (August 29th), these are the clouds rolling in.













Roughly 20 minutes after the first picture.














Around 2000 (8.29) outside my front door.

















On 9.1.05 very close to my house, this is an example of the kinds of things that we dealt with in Birmingham - downed trees and powerlines - but not our whole existence taken away from us.



















Driving into "town" to volunteer to help Hurricane evacuees on 9.3.05, I came across this caravan of National Guard soldiers on their way to help with the hurricane, I can't remember if they were from Kentucky or Arkansas, but I honked at EVERY vehicle, waved my hands like a freak, and gave them a huge thumbs up (ummm, all while driving my car and taking pictures - lol!).
















The back of one their trucks - it is hard to read, but it says, "Show Your Support, Hurricane Katrina".















After leaving the BJCC on 9.4.05, I encountered this huge caravan of buses - there was close to 30 - I lost count. We already had a lot of people at the BJCC - but these buses brought hundreds more evacuees to be distributed all throughout the city.

Day 238 - Keeping it Real

Let's see, how to put this? Life has been interesting since Al has been back in the Sand. This Saturday marked his one week anniversary of being gone - and that was kind of a rough day - Em and I stayed to ourselves and didn't venture out until my neighbor took us out to dinner that night. "Nanny" is my landlord, next door neighbor, Em's adopted grandma and a real sweetie most of the time - she knew that I was sad with Al being gone again so she wanted to do something special for me. The lobster, crab legs and hot lemon butter at Red Lobster were like a salve to my broken heart - lol.

Al called Saturday and he is right back in the thick of things at his FOB. He is now working in the clinic, doing the security officer position, and he will be training for another position soon too. It looks like they are going to serve their whole boots on ground time (call me a fatalist but I hadn't gotten my hopes up that they wouldn't do their whole BOG anyway - lol). Please keep him in your thoughts if you can.

Emelia hasn't been feeling herself for the past week or so either, so that has been hard. I don't want to make anybody barf, but explosive toddler diarrhea is a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure. We had to stay home from church yesterday, because I don't think she's contagious - I think she's just teething her molars, but I didn't feel that the people in the nursery should have to deal with all of that. Our big excitement yesterday was laundry, scrubbing down the kitchen, and me cleaning and organizing various drawers and cabinets in the house - we also ventured out to Walmart and we made it almost home until another attack of the killer poopies hit. YUCK. If anyone has any cures for a raw bootie, my ears are open - I have been using a double layer of vaseline and diaper cream.

I stayed home with her this morning until I got the free and clear from the Peditrician's office to try another couple of days of the 'wait and see' approach. Em has no fever, no vomiting and no behavioral changes - she just has Mount Vesuvius in her pants about five times a day. We start our new Tricare insurance on Thursday also - so it will be really nice to have no copay, etc. on this doctor's visit (I told Al that now that I am getting Army bennies, that it makes it 'a little' easier to have him gone, lol). Anyway, I am now at the office and I have been trying to slog through my many projects, but I have no real motivation to get anything done.

There's another hurricane a' comin' too - but we should just get tons of rain and strong wind. I talked to Stacy at about 1100 this morning, and they had just lost power at her house. She is close to Jackson, MS which is also where Al's mom and his son, Trey live. There are tons of soldiers in training at Camp Shelby in Hattiesburg, MS which is in the path of the hurricane - and there are a lot of currently husbandless military wives in the 155 BCT that are going to have to deal with this storm and its consequences, so please keep them in your prayers.

Staying humble in Alabama, rain, wind, poop and all . . . Melinda.

Day 234 - We're Famous, LOL!

Something kind-of neat happened yesterday as I was stumbling along the web. I discovered that on the Army National Guard site, that our blog was being listed as an example of what a National Guard blog is. LOL. It was listed under the "You Can Make a Difference"/Recruiting Action Center section on the Virtual Armory site.

If you haven't been to the Virtual Armory yet, I really encourage you to go. The National Guard is a good side career, and there are a lot of other options to help support your country and our nation's military that are listed on the site. You can't become a 'member' of the virtual armory unless you are a member of the National Guard, but you can do lots of other neat things like order a hero band (for free!) and send cool Guard e-cards. Check it out!

National Guard Virtual Armory!!!! Click HERE!!!!

Day 233 - Urgent Prayers Needed!

Please pray for "Some Soldier's Mom" and her son, SPC Noah Pincusoff. She received word yesterday that Noah was "injured in a VBIED attack ... a serious spinal injury... being operated on in Iraq". Her blog has been a source of inspiration to me personally - and you can just see her love for her son in everything that she writes. My friend, Stacy, called me about this last night - and she is so upset about it. War gets very personal when it affects someone that you know and care about. All of us in the Milblog community wrap our loving arms of protection around Noah and his family right now - and we will get through this together.

--------------------------------------------------
On a personal note, Al has made it back to Iraq. He is not back 'home' to his FOB yet, but I don't think he minds too much. Where he is staying right now is quite a bit ritzier than his location - he emailed me and told me that he is going 'swimming in the pool' a little later today - lol. It was so good to get his phone call yesterday at work - and he had me laughing and grinning from ear to ear as usual. I love him and I miss him so much, but I'm glad to know that he is back where he needs to be right now.

Day 232 - Back to the Sand

Hey y'all. Well, Al left this weekend to go back to the sand. I haven't heard from him since 10 p.m. on Saturday night - and he hadn't left Dallas yet because of mechanical problems with the plane. I know that he will call as soon as he is able to but I am still pretty numb and sad about all of it. R&R was absolutely wonderful and amazing and I couldn't believe how instaneously comfortable we were with one another - but it's a terrible feeling when all that is taken away from you again after two weeks.

I'm not trying to be a big complainer though, because I would much rather be able to smile and look back at those memories than to not to have had the opportunity to have them at all. We are looking at 'around' four-five months left after this. Even though the goodbye was hard, it was much better than January. There are not so many unknowns this time. And although he was saying goodbye to me and the kids, his 'home' right now is really with the other guys at his FOB.

Here are some professional pictures from our wedding day:


Melissa & Me


'The Bride'


"Us" #1


"Us" #2


"Us" #3


"Us" #4


'The Groom'

Day 225 - We're Married!!

Al's Arrival

Hey Everybody! I am so sorry to have been sooooo MIA - actually, I'm not sorry in the sense that I 'regret' it, because I have had an absolutely fantabulous time just living life and enjoying the heck out of my bunny - but I'm sorry in the sense that I have ignored all of you - and not kept you up-to-date of our goings-on.

The Happy Couple (I had tears streaming down my face)!

Al got home on Thursday August 4th - and we were married on August 5, 2005 at about 1:15 p.m. - it was everything that you would imagine a 'war wedding' to be . . . handsome groom, blushing bride, etc. He is still home right now and I won't say when he is leaving for security reasons ;o) other than to say that it will be 'soon'.

Me, getting my hair done the day of the wedding, lol.

My very best friend Melissa who came for the ceremony - she was our matron of honor and 'best man' - lol!

The happy couple - Part II!

Our cake.

Our rings.

Feeding cake.

Thank you so much to everyone for all of your well wishes and your thoughtfulness. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go through the transition of Al's R&R ending - although I certainly don't look forward to him going back to the sand, I do look forward to getting my routine back and checking up on all of you again. Sending much love to each of you across the Internet miles!!

Honeymooning with the kids - Vicksburg, MS.

Day 210 - BIG NEWS!

Whew. Well, this post is going to provide me with a tremendous sense of relief. I have not posted anything until now because I have this total "don't count your chicken's until they're hatched" mentality. But, since things are actually in progress now, I can reveal my secrets - lol. Al will be here this week for his R&R - and we will also be getting married. That's a lot of news, huh?

We have been together a long time - and in July, we were engaged for one year. But, both of us were unsure about getting married before he left for the Sand - but it now feels right to us. We are so excited and thrilled. I will be 'official' before the week is out - yay! I love Al so much - and I'm so thankful to have him in my life and that we will get to move onto the next chapter of our lives together. For OPSEC reasons, I cannot release the date/time of his arrival - but suffice it to say, it will be "SOON". LOL.

In preparation for his imminent departure from bachelorhood, the guys at his location threw him a bachelor party on Saturday night. Once again, our wonderful Homefront Hugs family came through for us - they sponsored the party!! Cindy, their gang-leader, emailed me several months ago when I told her that we had set our wedding date for during Al's R&R leave - and she said that they would love to supply everything for the party. She picked out a beach theme, because as she said, 'they already have the sand' - tee hee.

Then, I arranged for everything to be sent to Stacy's son, Michael. He is at the same location as Al, so it worked out perfectly! He did a great job keeping things under wraps and also in recruiting some of Al's friends to help in the festivities. Then he was a huge sweetie and provided me with pictures too! Whoo HOO!

The guys had a really good time. I joked with Al after the fact that it must have been the most tame Bachelor Party of all time - no strippers and no alcohol. But, he loved it - and he said the snacks were great and that the guys had a blast putting it together. I guess they also threw water balloons on him at the end - lol. Poor Al.

Here are some pictures!

.

Day 206 - Be thankful you are an American *very graphic*

As you guys probably remember, Al's MOS in the National Guard is the same thing that he does in civilian life ---> he's a nurse. At his location, he's not really needed to treat soldiers very much because he is in a relatively 'safe' area - and they let the medics run the clinic primarily - unless somebody is super sick and then they call in a doctor.

One thing that Al has gotten to do while he has been there though is to do several "Medcap" missions. This consists of them getting together humanitarian aid of all kinds, food, medicine, personal care items, ceiling fans, etc. - and then going to a remote, rural location and providing assistance to the Iraqi nationals. He has sent me videos of the missions and they are very hard to watch. They always do something for the children that's fun - like give them toys and coloring books - and watching them fight for a toy that a child here wouldn't give a passing glance is very hard.

Under Saddam's regime, access to medical care was cut off in the rural areas. Hospitals and medical treatment just weren't his priority. Unless you lived in the city - or were a part of the ruling political party - you didn't get to have access to good medical treatment. Add on to this that the Iraqi's were literally being starved to death from U.N. Sanctions while Saddam was building one palace after another - it made for a very sad situation. When we first invaded Iraq and got into the hospitals, it was discovered that the doctors were utilizing medical texts that were 20 and 30 years old. Pathetic.

Every now and again, Al will see something at a Medcap mission that a normal American who hasn't been exposed to the below third world conditions in Iraq really can't fathom. Two weeks ago, at a mission in the Najaf region - a father brought his 15 year old son in for treatment - the boy had a huge tumor on his leg. The flesh was literally coming apart because the tumor was so big. All Al could do was apply pressure - and bandage the leg up as good as possible and send the boy and his father on to the nearest military hospital.



While Al is in Iraq, I signed him up for a group that sends soldiers care packages - I wanted him to be able to get mail from someone other than me. It has been a great resource for him - and he has gotten to be really good friends with the people who have adopted him.

This afternoon (Iraq time) though, he got an email from his "Soldier's Angel" about the Iraqi boy with the tumor . . .

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Jeanne *****
To: Al *****
Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 19:16:08 -0400
Subject:: The Iraqi boy you cared for

Dear Al: It's amazing the people you meet in Soldiers Angels! Anyway, I was on the SA Blog board to catch up with stuff when I saw one e-mail about a medic and her patient. Off line, I sent along the picture you sent to us, she sent it to "her" SA medic, whose name is Rayna, so Marti sent me the copies of her e-mails and you will see mine to her. I hope all is well with you.

---------------------------------------------

Jeanne,

I am sorry to have to tell you that it is indeed the young man my medic was treating. I am going to cut and paste a few of her e-mails into this one. That will give you a better idea of what happened when he arrived at their hospital......sometimes life just stinks!!!!
(continued at the bottom)

From: Reyna *****
To: Martha *****
Date: Friday, July 22, 2005 11:27 AM
Subject:: Sad times

Tonight will be a rough night... I have to take care of a dying 15 y/o
boy... He has cancer.. And has a huge tumor the size of a large watermelon on
his leg... The cancer has spread to his lungs... He is in extreme pain and is on
his death bed... I have to watch him all night.. It is horrible... I want to cry
every time I see him.. And now I will sit with him on this hot summer night
praying for god to come get him....

From: Reyna *****
To: Martha *****
Date: Monday July 25, 2005 3:00 PM
Subject:: Allah

Hey... Well my little boy finally passed today... It was very sad... And
the dad thanked me so much for helping... He just stopped breathing very
peacefully... He was in so much pain... The dad knows no English.. So after the
whole thing me and the dad went outside and smoked and I told him that his son
was with Allah... The dad cried so much as did I... They took him home in a
wooden box on top of a taxi.. Nice I know... But we all pitched in and gave him
money for funeral expenses and the taxi....

(In response to the email about Al and the picture)
From: Reyna *****
To: Martha *****
Date: Wednesday, July 27, 2005 11:33 AM
Subject:: Yes (tears in my eyes)

That is my boy.... I stayed by his side till he took his last breath... We
had him for about a week... He went from sitting up in that picture to great
misery... He is at peace now... The Iraqi in the picture in the white is his
dad... His dad had no idea that his son was going to die we had to tell him that
in our clinic... I dont know if I told you but his dad told the interpreter that
I treated them better than his own mom... His mom gave up taking care of him...

(top email continued)
Well Jeanne, that is what I have received as far as information on the young man!

Sorry to be the bearing (sic) of sad news, although Reyna and I both agreed that he has moved onto a better place free from the pain and misery.

Take care and have a good day!!

Marti

--------------------------------------------

7/27/05

Dear Marti:

As hard as it was to read this, I appreciate the information. I have a lump in my throat, gratitude for being in a place where I can take care of my son, and deep pride in both Al and Reyna for trying their best to help him.

Jeanne

---------------------------------------------

My response to Al this morning when I got his email:

I'm really, really sorry baby. I'm glad that you could help take care of him during his last days --- and I hope somehow by us being there - that there will be improved medical access for the next Iraqi boy who has cancer and that he won't have to die.

I love you so much and I wish I was there to give you a big, gigantic bear hug and just hold your hand. But I will put both of them in a savings account for you.

Your M

Day 205 - Hot, hot, hot.

Yeah, whatever. We don't know what hot and annoying is - that's for sure. Yes, we have record breaking temps here - yes, it is somewhat irksome for my car to take an extra ten minutes to cool down from the heat, yada, yada, yada. Whenever I get to feeling that way though, I just look at the weather in Iraq and I think - 'oh, I don't have it too bad'. And they are dealing with crappy air conditioning - inconsistent power fluctuations - a strong hot wind that blows most of the time - and the soldiers over there have to stay in uniform during their duty periods!

It's funny because on our Yahoo ARNG message board, a lot of the ladies are saying that when their hubbies have come home for R&R - they have actually had to keep the house hotter than normal, just because they would freeze their hubbies out otherwise. On the opposite end though, some of the guys have been so thankful to finally have access to decent air conditioning, they have turned the thermostat even cooler - lol!

Anyway, I found this article in the Washington Times today that really put things into perspective for me:

Washington's too hot? Try Iraq
By Edward Cen and Guy Taylor
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
Published July 27, 2005

The mercury level in Washington crested at 99 degrees yesterday -- about
21 degrees below the high in Baghdad.

While Washington's summer swelter prompted complaints
from tourists in shorts, tank tops and flip-flops, U.S. troops in Iraq face
the desert heat in helmets, Kevlar vests and combat boots.

"If you're out on patrols and Joe takes his helmet off because he's got an
itch, it's a team or squad-level infraction," said Army Lt. Col. Barry
Venable, a Pentagon spokesman.

The security posture at most U.S. military installations in Iraq has been
reduced to the point where soldiers can wear soft caps rather than helmets
and bulletproof vests when on base, Col. Venable said.

But off base is a different story. Throughout the country, standard
security posture is for troops to be wearing bulletproof vests and helmets
and carrying M-16 rifle -- at all times. Rules can vary from unit to
unit, Col. Venable said, depending on the area where a unit is conducting
patrols, and a service member who does not conform may face minor
punishment from his immediate superiors.

Not counting desert-camouflage uniforms, heavy-duty combat boots or other
equipment, the average infantryman carries more than 20 pounds of gear with
him through the blazing heat at all times.

A soldier's helmet weighs three to four pounds, and his M-16 is about eight
pounds unloaded. The weight of bulletproof vests vary -- the older the model
the heavier -- but they typically average 12 pounds.

Army Maj. Flora Lee, a U.S. military spokesman in Baghdad said in a telephone
interview yesterday that her unit was issued "camel backs" -- slim backpacks
that can be filled with drinking water -- when they shipped off for Iraq.

"We have a plentiful supply of bottled water, because the water here isn't
potable," she said. "People are just reminded to drink all the time to remain hydrated."

Preparing troops for the Iraqi summers has been a concern at the Pentagon.
Marine Lt. Gen. James T. Conway said that the heat is "brutal" and that
commanders overseeing troops in Iraq have "been concerned about it from the
outset."

"It's a brutal region, especially this time of year," Gen. Conway told
reporters at a news briefing deep within the air-conditioned corridors of
the Pentagon yesterday.

The general said efforts have been made to bring the soothing comfort of
such air conditioning to troops posted in Iraq.

"There are air conditioners ... put into the barracks, put into the offices,
that type of thing, so although you're out on patrol and it's hot and it's
miserable, when you get back in, there is relief," Gen. Conway said. "There
are some very superb mess halls that are also air-conditioned that allow
the troops a chance to regenerate before they go back out again."

In Baghdad, Maj. Lee said, respite from broiling daytime temperatures can
occasionally be found at night. "The temperature does drop in the evenings a little bit,"
the Army spokeswoman said. "Sometimes, it will drop like 30 to 40 degrees."

Iraqi evenings, however, are cool only in comparison to the 120-degree
daytime highs. The overnight low in Baghdad yesterday was 90.

On a humorous note, here is a poem that is circulating the net that is credited to a Kentucky Army National Guard chaplain that is currently serving in the sand.

"I Do Not Like This Dust and Sand"

I do not like this dust and sand

I do not like it on my hands

I do not like dust in my head

I do not like it in my bed

I do not like sand in my hair

I hate it in my underwear

I do not like this dust and sand

I used to like the color tan

I do not like dust on my clothes

I despise it up my nose

I do not like sand in my face

Invading all my private space

I do not like dust in my mouth

I do not like it north or south

I do not like sand east or west

Nowhere is where I like it best

I do not like dust in my ear

It's hard to reach, I cannot hear

When it gets in my drink and food

It affects my attitude

I like it not with ham and eggs

I do not like sand on my legs

I like it not in socks and boots

Nor on my veggies, meats and fruits

This dust and sand floats everywhere

It dances in the desert air

I like a dust storm even less

Because it leaves a gritty mess

I want to leave this sand and dust
But until then in God I trust.

Pray for Peace

Day 203 - Happy Birthday to STACY!!!

Hey y'all! Guess what? It's my deployment buddy's birthday today!! Whoo Hoo!! I have wanted to tell you for a long time what a special person she is, and how she makes this deployment bearable for me, but I have been waiting for her birthday to tell you --- so I could make a big, sappy post about it and embarrass the heck out of her. LOL.

Stacy and I became friends in a very round about way through our FRG (family readiness group) - and it didn't happen right away. It wasn't until late this winter/early this Spring so both of us had gone through several months of solo deployment already. And I can tell you sincerely that it makes a HUGE difference to know somebody else who has a soldier at Al's location - who may not be going through the 'exact' same things as me, but who understands as a whole how I feel. These last few months have been so much more bearable because of that.

In my friendships as a whole, I'm kind of weird about stuff. I have several best friends that I have made at different times and paths in life who literally live all across the country. They are the category of friends that if one of them called me up today and needed something, I would find a way to deliver for them. I used to have a bunch of acquaintances too - but between being a mom now - and Al being deployed, I have really taken stock of my friendships, and a lot of my 'friends' just kind of drifted away like chaff. It's really kind of funny though because no matter how many best friends I have, Stacy is really about the only person in my life right now who can relate 100% to this situation. So she currently has #1 status - lol. If I'm not on the phone with Al - her call gets answered next!!

I guess it's strange, because if you have never gone through a deployment - then there's no way that I can really explain to you what this feels like. I could try to qualify it with a bunch of adjectives, or maybe quantify it with statistics on how many sleepless nights I've had --- but just like anything in life, until you personally live something yourself, you can't really understand it. My other 'best friends' are great people, but they all are living normal civilian lives right now and although they are sincerely patriotic people, the patriotism that they live is not really comparable to what a military family goes through.

Stacy not only understand what this feels like, but she is also a great person as a whole. She is a true friend that whenever I need her, is there for me. There are other things I can tell you about Stacy too . . .

• She has a great sense of humor.
• She is a kick butt cook.
• She is awesome at her job!!
• She is an AMAZING mother. She is supporting her son Michael through his deployment, and she is really a textbook example of what a parent (or anyone else) should be like during something like this. She is in active competition with me as to which one of us can send our soldier more packages - and she is always available for Michael no matter what he needs. I respect her so much for the way that she has sacrificed for him during these months - and it has really given me a role model as a parent, and as a friend to look up to.
• She is a patient wife!
• She takes great care of her pets too - (okay, I've been to her house, her pets are really like her other children - lol!)
• She is an awesome daughter and sister too. I respect so much the way that she is all about her family and goes all out for them.
• Whether she realizes it or not, she has a great sense of style and flair!
• She knows who she is, and is totally grounded in that. She is a 'real' person - and instead of being a flaky person who may be sugar sweet, but who isn't there for you - she tells you like it is, and she still has your back.
• Forty million other things I can't remember because it's Monday and I'm sleepy - lol.

So, if y'all could do me a HUGE favor - please go wish her a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, k?

Day 201 - Two Hundred and ONE!

Yes, that's right - it's Day 201 - unfreakingbelievable, huh? Yeah, I know I'm pretty amazed too - I mean here I am typing this and my sanity is pretty much intact and everything - lol. I'm very thankful that Al and I have made it this far - and I really appreciate all the support that we have gotten up until this point - I would never have guessed at the beginning of his deployment that a blog could become such an important part of our lives - or such an amazing and therapeutic resource for us. Thanks for being there for us - and for those of you who have supported us "in real life" - thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I especially want to thank our Homefront Hugs family because you have been so faithful during this time - and all the special things that you have done for both Al and for me and the kids have been really neat. I also want to thank Al's Soldier's Angels - and I want to thank our families - and my friend/deployment buddy Stacy for really being my rock these last couple of months. Thank you to our other friends too - hopefully you know who you are - lol.

We should have about five months or a little less give or take of this whole thing left. I'm ready for it to be over - so ready. I have lots to keep me busy the next couple of weeks though, thank goodness - I'm hoping to stay busy and shut my eyes and cruise into another month.

I also want to say really quick that I might say "we" - but Al is really the person taking on the brunt of this deployment. I have no illusions that the things that I have to deal with over here while I wait for him to come home are even comparable to what he is going through over there. I respect him so much for the sacrifices that he is making right now - and I love him even more for it (and I didn't even know that was possible). I am so proud of the 'good' that he is doing - even though the good gets muddled in politics and the 'Army Way' sometimes.

Okay, I have to get back to work! My To-Do list is screaming at me to get To-Done!! Have a Happy Weekend!

Day 196 - Great Article!!

This is the best article on supporting someone through a deployment that I have ever read. The only thing that I can't figure out is a way to get this to my friends and family without being mean about it - lol. Perhaps I can print out copies of it and keep it in my purse to distribute as needed. Hope everyone has a good start to their week!

Subject: [MilitaryPrideNews] Ways to Support a Co-Worker or Friend Whose Loved One Has Been Deployed

Ways to Support a Co-Worker or Friend Whose Loved One Has Been Deployed

What to expect

During times of crisis and war, everyone handles uncertainty, painful feelings, and separation differently. Some people with a loved one serving overseas cope by keeping busy and focusing on work. Others may be distracted or have trouble concentrating. Some people need to talk about the war with trusted relatives, friends, and co-workers; others cope by not talking about their feelings, fears, or thoughts. Many people find coping more difficult due to the ever-present radio and TV news coverage.

To a large extent, the absence of a loved one can be like living with a heartbreak that doesn't end until the person's safe return. Nothing can replace the absent person in your friend's heart or mind. Your friend may feel:

• an acute sense of sadness and loss
• a sense of helplessness, of not knowing where to turn
• anger about the absence
• constant worry about the loved one's safety and health
• a strong sense of duty to remain strong for others
• a compulsive need to read the news and listen to TV on a regular or continuous basis

Caring expressions of concern from friends and co-workers can go a long way in helping people left behind feel supported and less alone during this difficult time.

What can you say?

People with a loved one who has been deployed may or may not want to talk about what they are going through. Remember that this is no reflection on their feelings about you, your friendship with them, or your willingness to be available. It's important to take your cues from the other person and be there to listen if and when the person wants to talk. When you see your friend or co-worker, here are some things you can say:

• "How are you holding up?" (Ask this sparingly, not every time you see the person.)
• "This is such a difficult time."
• "I just want you to know that if you would ever like to get together and just talk, I'm here."

If your friend or co-worker wants to talk, just listen. Don't be afraid of the feelings you hear. If the person begins to cry or seems upset, you might say, "Would you like to go somewhere private to talk?" Then find a private place for a conversation. In your conversation . . .

• Reflect back what you hear. If your friend or co-worker talks about the difficulties of his or her situation, you might say, "This must be so hard."
• Don't try to give advice. Just listen. Be non-judgmental.
• Ask if the person has family or friends he can count on for help and support. This will help you know whether your friend or co-worker is actively seeking help.
• Let your friend or co-worker know that you would be glad to talk again. Reassure the person that you have the time and want to listen. If the conversation needs to continue, but you don't have time right now, invite your friend or co-worker to sit down at a later time.
• If the friend or co-worker is someone you like to do things with, make plans. Ask him or her out to lunch, or call spontaneously on a weekend or evening to go shopping, for a walk, or to a fun movie.

Ways to offer support

Know that your friend or co-worker is mentally preparing for the long haul. Despite his feelings of sadness or confusion, he is probably very aware that there is no certainty of the outcome -- when his loved one will return or whether he or she will be safe at all times. So you should try to be there for the long haul as well. Small acts of caring can go a long way in helping your friend to remain strong and optimistic.

• Help your friend or co-worker find groups or online bulletin boards where parents or loved ones are sharing their experiences. If you live in a larger metropolitan area, help your friend find a group to share experiences with -- through the local newspaper, community resources, or the library. The military offers many resources for families of service members living on or near a military installation; help your friend get connected to these resources.
• Check in. Find out how your friend is doing by phone, e-mail, or by just dropping by. Your conversation can be brief but still caring. You might say, "I just wanted to know how you are." Find out if your friend is exercising, eating right, and assuming most of his or her normal routines. See if you might help with an errand or help care for children to give your friend time to get out.
• When you are together and when there is time, encourage the person to talk about her loved one who has been deployed. Laugh and cry together. Tell stories about the person. Do what seems to come naturally to your friend or co-worker.
• Avoid political discussions about the war that could trigger sensitive emotions. Avoid "pro and con" discussions or debates about the war in front of the person. In general, avoid heated discussions about politics or war in the workplace.
• Rejoice with your friend when a letter or e-mail arrives from the person overseas. Any extended time between contacts with the person deployed will be very difficult. Anxiety and worry will increase when communications are delayed.
• Remember that holidays and birthdays will be tough for the person. Be sure your friend or co-worker has a place to go or has plans to socialize in some way. Celebrate in a special but low-key way. Shop for something special. Again, take cues as to what the person needs or seeks in terms of support.

It may be a long wait before your friend's loved one is home and safe. Worry and anxiety will affect your friend's daily life and routines. Friends and co-workers have to be prepared to provide ongoing support for weeks or months. Heartfelt expressions of support can help your friend feel cared for, more rooted in life's normal routines, and stronger during this difficult time.

Day 194 - Cleaning or rather, Not Cleaning

Okay, well, hmmm, I have little or nothing to write about today -- for the simple fact that I have done little or nothing all day. I have had my butt in bed reading a book or napping for a good part of the day. I'm not even cool or awesome either because I haven't been reading the Harry Potter book - I'm just reading a mystery book that I got off of Amazon because they profiled it in this month's Family Circle. I think that a person has finally reached old age when they are ordering crap because it was in 'Family Circle'. I think I'm in trouble. I'll probably start walking hunched over by Monday - and will somebody please remind me to pick up some Geritol and Ben Gay at the store, also?

I digress. What I have been in the process of telling you is that I have zero motivation. And I'm not sure why. I am an obsessive compulsive neat freak who gets sick pleasure out of organizing stuff. Nothing thrills me more than to find disorder and make it beautifully neat. Heck, my part-time job is cleaning for a friend twice a month, and if I had more time and energy, I could get more work just like that. Lately though, my own house looks quite skeery. I'm not sure if it's because in the last two weeks we have had more times of it raining buckets from the sky - than it being dry -and as I type this, it is starting to rain AGAIN --- or if it is some deeper subconscious thing.

Before you even ask, I'm not depressed, at least if I am I don't know that I am - I don't feel 'sad' on any level. And I actually have some stuff to look forward to soon - it just hasn't happened yet. So, I don't know why my house looks like this and why I turn and glance at everything that I 'could' be doing and then I slink back to my bedroom and crawl back into bed and crack my book open. I just know that I need to get my freaking act in gear. And what am I doing? Blogging. LOL.

My wonderful deployment buddy, Stacy, just hung up with me and told me that I could call her back when I got half of my house done -- I rather sarcastically told her that if she didn't want to talk to me for a week, she just had to say so - lol. So, I better get to it. Did you notice that today is Day 194? That's way better than Day 193 - because now we have less than one week until we are at the 200 day mark. Our next big milestone - whoo hoo!

Have a good weekend, I have to go do laundry - *sigh*.

Day 193 - Self Portrait Friday

Hey guys! Whew I am wiped out - BIG TIME. I am always like this on Fridays but my bunny called me at 0100 this morning - and we chatted for about an hour - so I am really, really wiped out.

I am playing along with several other bloggers on "Self Portrait Friday" -- you can find everyone else at The Grass Isn't Greener. In retrospect, I should have factored in my extremely busy day before I decided to play. Which is why the picture of me with my mug isn't getting posted until 2000 tonight. LOL.

And it is also why you are getting a very "Wilsonesque" SPF picture of me.



















No make-up - my hair pulled back - wearing a hat . . . but you can see my beautiful butterfly mug. I love butterflies - but not in the weird, I collect them and have them all over my house kind of way. I just like them in a basic, butterflies are a cool insect as far as insects go, kind of way. Al is really the coffee drinker in our house - and he doesn't even mind drinking out of my butterfly mugs - Reason #599 why he is the man for me.

Day 192 - Cotton Candy

I have come to the recent realization that I could start every single blog entry that I write with the words, "Well, I . . .". I have been trying to break myself of that habit. One thing that I try to do is to not write just for the sake of writing - to not fill this thing up with a bunch of boring, tedious stuff that is so far beyond the realm of actual 'good writing' that it is the equivalent of mass produced cotton candy.

You know what I'm talking about, that cotton candy crap that they sell at the video store? That you think is going to be so good because it's been so long since you had cotton candy, and you're desperate for it - and you think somehow by spending a $1.43 that you will be able to call back a part of your childhood where you were happy and free. Instead you crack open the bag of industrialized spun sugar and find a dry lump in the bottom of the bag. A stale remnant of cotton candy that is a shadow of its former self. You force yourself to eat some of it anyway, mad that you wasted your dollar+, and you swallow your disappointment with every single dry and crunchy bite.

I don't want this blog to be your stale cotton candy, okay? LOL. I don't want you to come here with excitement and anticipation - and then walk away disappointed and say to yourself, "Why in the junk did she write about THAT?". Seriously though, I have lots of stuff that I 'could' talk about, but there some things in life that I have learned to keep private. There are tons of wonderful things on the horizon for Al and for me in the very near future - but I am making the choice to not post about them until they actually happen. I am going to blame OPSEC and PERSEC for my decision - but also, I guess you could call it being 30 and learning a few things along the bumps of life. Color me a cynic, but I try very hard to not work myself up into a frenzy about things and get super excited until they actually happen. But when I am ready to write about them, you guys will be the first to know.

In Al-land, they had a brief reality check yesterday --- everything was smooth sailing as far as I knew, he and I had emailed back and forth before lunch --- I got a wonderful lunchtime phonecall (Siiiiiigh, I looooooove talking to him!) --- and he was supposed to go to bed. Well, I kept getting emails from him (forwarded jokes, etc.) so I kind of figured that something was up, but then I thought that it might be a server delay or something. Unfortunately though, I got an email from him at 1500 my time - midnight his time - telling me that the generators to their cans (where they sleep) went out. Imagine if you will, a little metal box sitting in the hot sun with no air conditioning. Trying to sleep in one would be torture. Soooo, instead they were all assembled at the COC - hoping and praying for the generators to come back online.

And they did. Thank God. I know that he is a soldier and that it is his job to "suck it up" and keep moving --- but I still can't help imagining what his life must be like in my Americanized, 'I don't know what awful really is' kind of way. Anyway, I have now added "Not whining about the heat" and "Not complaining about the rain" to my list of things to not talk to him about. Which is kind of funny, but not funny "ha-ha" - but instead just it's just funny sad.

On a side note, I always send him stuff from the dollar aisle in SuperTarget. I find the best fillers for care packages in there. Anyway, I sent the man a poncho. And I got to hear about it for a good ten minutes yesterday. Questions that were posed to me were: 1) What am I supposed to do with a poncho in the desert?, 2) Okay, let's say it actually 'did' rain, why wouldn't I just wear my government issued Gore-tex jacket then?, 3) Honey, the poncho is BRIGHT YELLOW - do you know what a target I would be in BRIGHT YELLOW?

LOL. I told him that I guessed that I had watched one too many MacGyver shows where MacGyver is able to save the world using two matches, a stick of chewing gum and a bright yellow poncho. Too funny, huh?