Monday, June 20, 2005

Day 168 - If you see me on the evening news . . .

It's because I have killed a co-worker. And I'm not just talking a gentle killing - we're talking full on hand-to-hand assualt with a deadly weapon (ie. my heavy duty stapler or my good Fiskars scissors). I.AM.SO.SICK.OF.REGULAR.NON-MILITARY.PEOPLE.WHO.DON'T.UNDERSTAND.

The last couple of weeks have gotten bad. I think it's because I am soooooooo looking forward to Al's leave - and it feels like it is NEVER going to get here. But, I have grown so impatient with people - I have zero, zilch, zip tolerance left. You hear that, people? MY TOLERANCE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not saying that there aren't civilians out there in the world that are perfectly nice, that may even go above and beyond in the empathy department - what I AM saying is that NONE of them work at my company. I already stopped going on break, and I NEVER eat my lunch in the lunch room. That way I don't have to deal with 40 million questions about Al being gone or my mom being sick. Am I wrong to feel this way? I mean these people barely KNOW me from Eve. And then they have to come up to me and ask me extremely personal questions about my life? How do they even know about this stuff anyway? Gossip. That's how.

You know, maybe I'm just oversensitive or something - but I just don't go around asking people unbelievably personal stuff. Like, I don't walk up to other people and go, "Well, Sally, How's that incontinence going for you?", or "John, did your son get out of drug rehab yet?". I mmob (mind my own business) - and unless someone is either a direct family member 0r a VERY close personal friend, I don't pry. I think it's rude to shove somebody's face into their personal issues.

Today, I was assaulted in my cube. And I say assaulted because it was a surprise attack that I did NOT welcome. I was quietly doing my work and mmob, when one of the older ladies in the office saunters by - and our conversation went like this . . .

Mean Old Lady: So, Melinda, when is your boyfriend getting home, anyway?

Me: Well, he's my fiancé not my boyfriend, and he will be home in either August or September.

Mean Old Lady: OH! Not UNTIL AUGUST or SEPTEMBER? That's a really long time to wait, huh?

Me: Yes, it sure is.

Mean Old Lady: Well, at least when he's home, he's home for good, right?

Me: No. He will only be home for 15 days, and then he has to go back to Iraq.

Mean Old Lady: WHAT? HE HAS TO GO BACK? THAT'S A.W.F.U.L.!! Well, he'll be home for good in like October, right?

Me: No. He will not be home for good until January or February.

Mean Old Lady: January? February? How are you going to be able to take it? That's F.O.R.E.V.E.R.!! How terrible!!!

Me: **saying nothing, trying not to strangle her with my bare hands, forcing a smile unto my face**

---> Exit Stage Right, Mean Old Lady.

Just to clarify, I don't want to think of my situation as being horrible or awful or tragic or blah, blah, blah. This is what just what God has handed Al and me to deal with - and some days are much worse than others, but I just have to suck it up and keep on moving. I love Al like crazy - and I would never change having him in my life. Not for one second would I give him up to make this situation go away. He is worth every minute of this crap. Well, most minutes anyway - lol.

So, let this be a public service announcement to the American Public at Large ---- if you know somebody who has somebody deployed, DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS!! You will know when their loved one is home for good by the 10,000 watt smile on their face. And if you don't know anything about it - it's probably because they chose not to tell you in the first place!!! Don't forget, when all else fails, you can practice my MYOB manuever - it never fails.


airforcewife said...

Trust me, I'm laughing with you, not at you! :)

The one thing I've learned is that civilians with no connection to the military Just. Don't. Understand. Period. They can't get it.

I burned a few bridges when my temper got the best of me while my husband was in Iraq with my pointed replies. Rather than write a huge essay on your blog - I put them here:

And you can rant to me ANYTIME.

Brian H said...

Have some business cards made up that say, "If you don't have something positive and useful to say to me, STFU". Hand them out as needed. ;)

Anonymous said... must be in the water. I completely "went off" on my SIL, who BTW is one of my best friends. However, she called this weekend to complain about how her husband is working at Camp Shelby 7 days a week and she is just ready for him to come home. da di da. Don't know what happened...I JUST SNAPPED! She should be glad her husband gets to come home EVERY NIGHT! And she knows where he is, how he is, she can reach out and touch him! That's more than I've been able to do since 25 July 2004! Not to mention, hubby flew out on CHRISTMAS DAY! Am I sorry he's in Iraq. NO! I'm proud that he's doing his duty and I am doing mine. But pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase do not call and complain about how difficult it is that your husband comes in an hour late every day! How I would love to see my hubby walk through that door. It'll happen in August, but we're still looking at 8 weeks.

Anyway, must be something in the water. I have been very strong for all these months, but something happened this weekend, don't can't think of anything in particular, and I am having my own personal nervous breakdown. It'll be over in a couple of days, I'm sure, but for now...civilians and wives of non-deployed soliders...WATCH OUT!

Psalm 91 Girl

Christy said...

I drank the same water obviously because I am having the same problems! Why do people ask such stupid questions and it's always the same question everytime they see me. Can they not remember what I told them the last time? Hubby will not be home until next year. Got that? NEXT Y.E.A.R.! Yet I get asked everytime they see me the same question - when will he be home for good? Ohhh and the ever popular from the inlaws (every single family member) - When did you last hear from him? I could tell them he called yesterday and they'd still ask. Oh and they want to know what he had to say but when they get a call from him do you think they tell me what he says? NO. Something else that annoys the heck out of me is when people tell me that they should just get our guys home and bomb the whole country over there. Or when they offer their views of the war. Why does having a soldier over there give everyone the impression that we are an instant student of what they have to teach on what they believe about the war? Just wanted you to know you're not alone in people asking you stupid questions!

CaliValleyGirl said...

Oh man....I hate it when I have to be all strong and tell someone that he is going to be gone for a year, and then when they are so shocked and say it's unfair, I get super defensive, and say, well, that is the way it is. I have to deal with it, so don't make me feels worse by going on and on about it. are not alone!

KempoDude said...

You have to keep in mind, kind of tongue and cheek, that your fiancee, my father, and my girlfriend have or are serving their country so that John Q. Public has the right and freedom to act like a dumb ass.

What people on the street don't seem to understand is that the worst part of it is the "not knowing" -- and sometimes that is the way things have to be for whatever reason. So stop asking me questions that piss me off and make me mad because I just don't know where she is, or when she's coming back, etc. And if I hear one more person tell me that I need to find a hobby or something to keep my busy, I might shoot myself.

Melinda said...

Wowee Zowie! I think we've lived a parallel life or something...our names are even the same! LOL

I am so sorry that these people moved away from me when my husband returned home & set up shop in your neighborhood. Of course, now we get the, "Well, thank God you're home and you don't have to go back." We just nod. No sense saying, "Well, 9 years left until retirement is a LONG time..."

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I've added you to my favorites, so I'll be back!

Sgt Cowboy's Girl said...

I can completely understand your situation and frustration. My fiance' and I are getting married when he comes home for R&R next month, and trying to tell people when they ask when the wedding is about makes me want to scream. I don't know when the army is going to send him home and even when I get an approximate date (which I just got this week)they could change their mind. And then when they realize that I said "When he's home for his 2 weeks leave", they get this shocked look on their face! "Oh my, he has to go back!" Well, yes he does! Does that me that I shouldn't marry the love of my life!

No this is not the ideal situation, but like you said. I would never give him up just to make life easier. This is the way it is, and we deal with it every day.

Tink said...

Welcome to the "I have no f'ing patience so leave me the heck alone" club.

In the last two weeks before hubs came home I wanted to slap everyone that crossed my path.

I came to the conclusion that the military should issue a years supply of traquilizers to all family members, and double the dosage in the weeks leading up to leave or homecoming, if only for their coworkers safety..:)

Just know that you aren't alone, we've got your 6.

Rant away.