The topic that I was "meme'd" about, was The Things I Just Don't Get, so I very shortly came up with five things for you to read about that, I have a hard time accepting/comprehending.
MELINDA'S LIST OF THINGS THAT "I JUST DON'T GET":
- MARRIED PEOPLE'S DATING WEBSITES: Back in the day, when I was "brand new" to this Army stuff and Al was first getting deployed (YES, okay, I admit it - as a National Guard Fiancee, the military doesn't mean a whole lot to you, until you learn that they're going take your sweetie away from you for a year and a half), I was frantically trying to find resources and help to figure out what the heck all the acronyms meant - and all the paperwork, etc. I needed "new friends" too. So, I innocently typed in 'Army Wife Support' on Google - and I got like three dating websites for "Lonely Wives" (just so you know, I tried it again today, and those search terms don't pull up the same sites anymore - thank goodness!). But, back in August and September, I was - to put it bluntly - APPALLED. Color me naive, but I had no idea that cheating was so rampant when the spouse's soldier TDY'd or got deployed. What in the world is the point of being in a committed relationship if you're going to act like that? Anyway, to any "Lonely Wives" out there, if you're that darn lonely, you're probably in the WRONG relationship. Be a real woman and end things with your spouse before you start searching for love on the net!!
- CELLPHONES WITH OBNOXIOUS RINGS. Oh My Goodness!!! I have to confess that in the past, that I have gotten 'cutesy' with my cell ring on occasion. Playing "Old Lang Syne" on New Years, "Take Me Out to Ballgame" during the World Series season. But - UGH - the rings that they have out now are sooooooooo horrible. You know my co-worker's daughter set his cellphone ring to the other day? A cat meowing!! Do you have any clue how annoying and utterly unprofessional it is to have your cellphone do that? Not to mention that most men carry their phones in their pockets. You're standing in line at the grocery store, and all the sudden you have a meowing cat emanating from your pants? Very odd.
- Speaking of men and their pants, my next thing that I just "don't get" is, WHY DRESSING HAS TO BE SO MUCH EASIER FOR MEN. I work in an office full of Estimators, who count numbers all day and decide, on paper, how much it is going to cost to build big, beautiful buildings. Well, there is a real easy dress code for them -- a golf or polo shirt and khaki pants. That's it!! They just have to match up their belt and their shoes (of which they have to choose from brown or black) and they are all done. This makes me sick. If only things were so EASY for us women!! If it is true that men 'rule the world', it is simply because they don't have to try to make coordinating outfits with skirts and blouses and scarves and jewelry and to figure out if it's the right time of year to wear white or not.
- Number four on my list of things that I don't get is THE ABILITY TO PURCHASE HERBAL VITAMINS/SEXUAL STIMULANTS AT THE GAS STATION. What in the world is the deal with this? I'm sorry, but I have never been in line to pay for my petrol and suddenly remembered that I needed a new batch of "Horny Goat Weed". NEVER. What kind of quality control does the gas station attendant possibly have over those medications? Like the FDA is doing some sort of active monitoring process on them either? Maybe I value my body and my sanity too much to even ingest 90% of that herbal crap. Or perhaps it's because I am going to marry a nurse, but I like my pills dispensed from a clinical setting by my friendly neighborhood PHARMACIST, not some chick named Flo in Clinton, Alabama - at the same time I buy my 58 Ounce "Big Gulp".
- And my final thing on my list? PEOPLE WHO WEAR BICYCLE SHORTS - BUT THAT DON'T BICYCLE. I don't want to see that much of anybody's tightness. Bleeerrrggggh. And another thing - women cannot wear these things without certain areas being morphed into something that SHOULD NOT BE SHARED IN PUBLIC. And I'm not even going to discuss what it does to a man's genitalia. BARF. If people must insist on wearing these monstrosities, then they need to be accompanied by our friend the jogging short. I feel that it is essential that jogging shorts not be allowed to fly solo in the world of exercise fashion either. They are WAY TOO SHORT to wear all by themselves!! A permanent marriage must come to pass between the bicycle short and the jogging short. You heard it here first.
Well, that was a lot of fun. Thank you so much for the 'tag' - I will just tag two people to "meme" -- my good friend Stacy at Keep My Soldier Safe, and my new friend Huntress at Diary of a Hollywood Refugee. I'll be interested to see what their lists consist of!!