Well, this past weekend marked Al's and my official "one year of dating". At this time last year - I drove over to Jackson to meet him for the first time - we met on eHarmony.com, I used to be embarrassed to tell people that - like it was a bad thing to tell somebody that we met off the computer - but now that I know how much in love I am with him - and how deeply we are connected - I'm proud of it. As I tell Al, it was the very best $49.95 I've ever spent!! That eHarmony stuff works, I tell ya!! We are perfectly matched up and he's the love of my life! Now, if he would only come home!!
I wrote this for him in honor of our anniversary:
This is what love is . . .
Knowing you – seeing you in my mind’s eye – sharing the same thoughts at the same time in a different place, a different time.
Feeling your touch – even though it’s only a memory – a faded treasure – knowing the hope that I will feel it again.
Seeing your smile on the first day we met – having your picture in a frame on my desk – having you in my heart most of all.
Feeling that feeling deep down within my soul that I would do anything for you – climb any mountain for you – try harder to be a better person with you and for you.
Having my heart do flip flops when the phone is ringing and I know that it’s you – having those flip flops be just as intense as the very first time you called and I heard your sexy Southern voice.
Serving God with you – to have the knowledge that together we believe in a bigger “Someone” – that we know what it means to pray and hope – that we believe that we are together for a reason – that there is a purpose and a plan in everything – even in what we are going through now – to be excited about teaching Sunday School together someday.
Laughing at your jokes and knowing that you understand mine – for there to be an understood silence between us when things aren’t funny anymore. To have the worst day ever and know that you will be able to turn it all around with one offhand comment. To know that you know what the difference between a raven and a crow is.
Wanting the things that you want – not because I am a weak person with no identity – but rather because my identity has been permanently altered since I met you. To know that I no longer want to be the person that I was without you – to try new things just because you want me to.
Paying my bills because it makes you happy. To have to go to the “Financial” section of any given bookstore that I happen to enter just to see if there is a cool book that I know you would like. To have my mailbox chockfull of fiscal magazines on an almost daily basis. Listening to “Money Talk” just because you enjoy it so much – even though you’re not even here to hear it.
Not losing the essence of myself simply because I am your fiancée – having you love and accept me for who I am – knowing that you understand that individuality is essential to a healthy relationship – that instead of looking to me for your happiness that you look to yourself and to God (and visa versa for me).
Doing the silliest, smallest thing with you - whether it’s putting together a puzzle – watching a movie – or letting you win at Trivial Pursuit (hee hee) – and having it be the best feeling in the world. To know that I can grow old with you and be content and happy.
Watching you with Trey and Emelia and respecting the parent that you are – and the one that you want to become. Having you play with them out in the yard and peeking out the window just to watch. To know that Em misses you too – and that she points to your picture and says, “Da Dee”. To have a wish that we will make a baby of our own someday.
Picturing our future wedding and getting a huge grin at the “I Do” part – and an even bigger one at the “You may kiss the bride part” - but knowing in my heart that I already said “I Do” to you the first day that we met, the first time we kissed, and that I say “I Do” every day that we get one more day to love each other.
Having you in my dreams every night – going to bed saying a prayer for your safety, protection, joy and success. Having a phone on each side of me in bed so I don’t miss you calling in the middle of the night ---
and knowing that it is exactly
until you are home for good.